blurred vision

there are times when you can not fool around with others and most importantly with yourself, right now the same is happening with me, as long as i remember i always knew what i am going to do next,for the focused girl i was i am not sure whether still i am, feeling like my life is going heywire here and there and i need one direction a direction which can give me ultimate peace, and i can feel yes this the way i want to go.whole day has been spent in silent thinking nothing, and feeling nothing but emptiness, sometime u r are in situation when you think so much that u think nothing u feel so much that u feel nothing,and all this is happening beacuse there is no vision, remember in one of interview i was asked a question where u find yourself in the next 3 years , professionaly the ansr is simple but personally its difficult, or both ways it is difficult because of the roller coaster ride the life is, u never know what is going to happen in the very next moment.probably i am leading to nothing but is nt that everything is leading to nothing? who is going to answer all this, thousand questions we ask ourselves then again without answering all of them we start asking another thousand and we are burdened with the loads of questions.......hope i will find my answer .anyways today is holi and it is strange that my all holis are bad ever since i remember, probably this is one of my bad days or a nightmare and again as i wake up or the day passess i will regain my clarity.i will see the vast open sky, and the starz twinkling in that, and the flowers with all the beuty and innocent in them and the smile of baby which is uncomaprable in the world, thank god u made them all without them life wud have been so empty.......